Favorite thing to do these days....snuggling. I don't know if it is because James is so fat and fun to squeeze or because I don't get the nursing time with him that I did with Thatcher at this age, or just maybe that James is a snuggler, but boy do I love snuggling my baby. I think he likes it too. They are my calmest, happiest moments of the day.
What I am proudest of this week...the fish costume I made baby James. It is hilarious, only took me one afternoon, and I only spent $1.50.
What I am most dreading...James is crawling a little more each day. Sure it is an army crawl and he has to be very focused to got a few feet, but it is coming, and I am not ready. I didn't think a baby could grow any faster than Thatcher did, but I was wrong. I can't believe the newborn stage is over. As happy as I am to see my boys laugh at each other and interact with each other...I feel like I am the one getting the shaft. I want my newborn back...and I am not ready for a different newborn, I just want my baby James to stay that way...my baby James.
Cheapest thrill of late... picking sunflowers that grow everywhere here. I love real flowers and I love having them not cost a thing because they never last long enough.
Not so cheap, but still a thrill...I got Thatcher a zhu zhu pet last week. It is a little hamster that moves around anywhere and makes funny noises. It is so funny and Thatcher takes it every where. I made a little bed for it and hamster sleeps in his bed when Thatcher sleeps in the big boy bed. Last night we took it out of his room so Thatcher wouldn't accidentally bump it and wake up and this morning he woke up calling for his hamster. It cracks me up.
New lofty endeavor...to learn how to can, pressure cook, and become and expert bread maker. We learned about all those things last week at a relief society meeting and I left feeling a little overwhelmed and under-resourceful. However, since then I have made a batch of fruit leather and I bought dried beans for the first time last night.
Too much thinking... I love change, but it scares me too. Ty applied for a job in Provo and I can't stop thinking about it. I am aching for a change, but I don't know if I am ready for one either. It scares me to face the consequences of getting out of our house. It scares me to move to Gilbert where I will melt of heat. It scares me to move to Provo because I know we would never leave and I don't know if I am ready for that sense of permanence. But...I sometimes think either of those options would provide a much happier life for me, Ty, and the boys. I always thought when I was a mom and when my husband had a great job that we would feel settled, but I feel like there is so much uncertainty right now. Maybe it is just me. Maybe I need to fully commit to wherever I am and take change as it comes. But then again, change might not come if you never seek anything better. I want to be more confident, more outgoing, more selfless, more service oriented, and I want to have more friends. I haven't gotten very far in two years of living here and acknowledging that makes me even more nervous about starting over again.
End of summer in sight...the Garfields got to the cabin on Saturday. We had a great dinner with them Sunday, then saw them again yesterday. Josh gets here tomorrow, then it is off to Phoenix to pick up Kelly. A full week of entertaining the two of them, then back to Salt Lake for all of us (minus Ty). I will stay in Salt Lake until our Lake Powell retreat with Ty's law firm. With all the things we have planned, the summer is going to be over too fast. Way too fast.
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