The 12 Days of Christmas
re-written by Jen Martin, Christmas 2010
1st- Carson
…a full year of nothing but vacations
2nd- Keith
…lower cholesterol
…and a silent passive wife
3rd- Ty and Jen
…4 bondage outfits
…3 brand new planners
…2 sedated boys
…and a car that starts consistently
4th- Emily
…4 lacrosse goals
…3 life sized stand-up cardboard cutouts of Shakey Smithson
…2 piano duets
…1 brand new ACL
5th- Thatcher and James
…5 hours of no injuries
…4 people to snuggle
…3 bags of marshmallows
…2 heads as big as a melons
…1 buzz Movie
6th- Kelly
… 6 kisses from Conner
… 5 thousand texts
… 4 hours of TV
… 3 hours in a mouse head
… 2 melon-headed nephews
… 1 pair of brand new pointe shoes
7th- Meg
…7 wins in tennis
…6 dates with Remmy Rem
…5 flirty glances from David Archuleta
…4 rounds of the ACT
…3 Motab performances
…2 dancing shoes
…1 shiny reparied cabriolet
8th- Ry and Mel
…8 friends like Everett
…7 designer jeans
…6 dozen craisin cookies
…5 brand new razors
…4 days without Denise
…3 gas masks for Mel
…2 new job offers
and…one house that’s not a garage
9th- Jake and Gail
…9 skiing lessons
…8 front row U game seats
…7 trips on the muss buss
...6 articles for the daily chronicle
…5 more girls for Jake
…4 trips to New York
…3 study abroads
...2 U diplomas
…and for Gail one proposal from Will
10th- Dru
…10 songs from Josh-y
…9 orders of sweet potato fries
…8 days to sleep in
…7 new bathrobes
…6 days of no cookin’
…5 days of soy chicken
…4 ambien
…3 days left of her callin’
….2 perfect grandkids
and...one year in Switzerland
11th- Mark
…11 months of skate skiing at Mountain Dell
…10 high council talks
…9 slide rock cliff jumps
…8 cross country skiing trips
…7 injury free midnight bathroom runs
…6 days a week of working out
…5 getaways with his best friend Eric Heiden
…4 debates with Kristi
…3 centuries of cabin privileges
…2 days without hormonal women gripin’
and …one full head of hair
12th- Josh
…12 non-exaggerated water polo goals
…11 constant friends
…10 guitar lessons by Roy
…9 pants that fit
…8 baseball games
…7 trophies for enthusiasm
…6 holy socks
…5 jumps of the second platform
…4 swimming medals
…3 new combs for his hair
…2 kisses from London
…for the Giants to win the world series
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