Just one year closer to 30...crazy! I can't believe that another year has gone by. A lot of things happened last year that were big events (had James, got my Masters, went to Pennsylvania). With no babies, diplomas, or cross-country vacations on the horizon, I want to make sure that this year holds as much excitement as any other year. So...here are my goals for 28:
1- become an aerobics instructor
2- run a half marathon
3- nurse James until he is at least 8 months
4- wean James off the bottle by the time he is one
5- get boys in the same room
6- potty train Thatcher
7- read Book of Mormon
8- read Preach My Gospel
9- read one book a month
10- write one journal/blog entry a day
11- take a dance class (either alone or with Ty)
12- have missionaries or another family for dinner once a month
13- finish project with Ty's pictures
14- make videos of 2008, 2009, and 2010
15- make baby book for James
16- make family book for second half of 2009 and 2010
17- make church alphabet book
18- write a children's book
19- go to temple four times
20- get to 130s and stay there
21- pay off all loans at 5.5% (from 2006 and 2007)
22- do one fun thing with boys each day
23- read at least one book each day to boys
24- try to eat more organically, vegetables each day
25- get family pictures
26- hike West Fork
27- be a better flosser, and retainer and contact-wearer
28- establish a better routine (exercising, cleaning, cooking, napping schedule)
Maybe this isn't the formula for an exciting year, but I would definitely feel accomplished if I could accomplish even half of these goals. There are other goals I would like to add like be early to church (we are already getting better at that), have structured family night, read scriptures and pray with Ty every day (family prayers with Thatcher have taken place of couple prayers and they are not the same), have meaningful personal prayer, find opportunities to serve more, and many more. If only I had enough time and motivation to be perfect. Here is to doing my best at being 28!
Friday, April 30, 2010
the best birthday present
Both boys took very long naps yesterday...at the same time! That never happens! It made it possible for me to shower, get ready, pick up the house, finish this...
and finish these...
It was a good afternoon! Thank you boys!
and finish these...
It was a good afternoon! Thank you boys!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Happiness today (and yesterday)...
1-When Thatcher laid his head down on the stair where the sun was shining in. If he is anything like his mom, that spot on the stairs will become his favorite spot in the house because of how warm and sunny it always is.
2-Watching James smile in his sleep.
3- Convincing Thatcher to let go of Mater so he could hold on to the swing at the park. That was easy enough, the hard part was letting go of Lightning McQueen. I finally convinced Thatcher to hold Lightning between his legs so he could use both hands to hold on to the swing. It was hilarious.
4- Hearing the ladies at the gym daycare tell me they had never seen a little kid more excited than when they pulled out the Cars playmat this morning. They said he screamed, jumped up and down, pointed, laughed and then did all those things over and over again.
5- When Thatcher handed me a diaper and then got out the wipes and a changing mat (which I never use) and laid on the mat perfectly still until I came and changed his diaper (which was perfectly dry).
6- Watching Thatcher play with his cars. He has been lining them up for a while when he plays, but the lines have gotten significantly longer this week.
7- Going to James's 4 month appointment today. He had a growth spurt in his height and his head is in the 90th percentile. He was so sweet and happy throughout the appointment and barely cried when he got his shots...such a sweetheart.
8-Homemade Cafe Rio salad that we had for dinner. It was a lot of work and made a big mess, but it was worth it!
9- Sitting outside on our little stoop with Thatcher and looking through a bag of goodies his Nursery teacher left him. I read him the note she wrote and he got really excited...especially when I let him eat all the treats she put in there.
10- The thought of bed. James woke up at 3:30am last night, cried for an hour, then I fed him, then Ty got up....needless to say, I didn't get much sleep.
2-Watching James smile in his sleep.
3- Convincing Thatcher to let go of Mater so he could hold on to the swing at the park. That was easy enough, the hard part was letting go of Lightning McQueen. I finally convinced Thatcher to hold Lightning between his legs so he could use both hands to hold on to the swing. It was hilarious.
4- Hearing the ladies at the gym daycare tell me they had never seen a little kid more excited than when they pulled out the Cars playmat this morning. They said he screamed, jumped up and down, pointed, laughed and then did all those things over and over again.
5- When Thatcher handed me a diaper and then got out the wipes and a changing mat (which I never use) and laid on the mat perfectly still until I came and changed his diaper (which was perfectly dry).
6- Watching Thatcher play with his cars. He has been lining them up for a while when he plays, but the lines have gotten significantly longer this week.
7- Going to James's 4 month appointment today. He had a growth spurt in his height and his head is in the 90th percentile. He was so sweet and happy throughout the appointment and barely cried when he got his shots...such a sweetheart.
8-Homemade Cafe Rio salad that we had for dinner. It was a lot of work and made a big mess, but it was worth it!
9- Sitting outside on our little stoop with Thatcher and looking through a bag of goodies his Nursery teacher left him. I read him the note she wrote and he got really excited...especially when I let him eat all the treats she put in there.
10- The thought of bed. James woke up at 3:30am last night, cried for an hour, then I fed him, then Ty got up....needless to say, I didn't get much sleep.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
bath time
There isn't any time of the day or week that I enjoy more with my boys than bath time. Bath time always helps me to feel like a good mom, like a great mom, and here is why:
- My boys love it! I wish I could keep my little 4 month old James in there for an hour because I think he would get a kick out of it. The moment either of my boys hit the water, happiness results. When Thatcher hears the word bath, he bolts upstairs in anticipation.
- I am helping them with a physical need. My toddler has become quite independent lately. Sure, he still wears diapers and relies on me to dress him and get food out for meals, but I enjoy doing things for him. I am desperately holding on (and will continue to do so, hopefully not to his detriment) to being his mom and doing mom-like things for him.
- I am completely focused on my boys. Not only is it not safe to take an eye off of my two kiddos under two, but bath time is our time. The three of us are completely focused on each other with no distractions (except the bath toys). I let too many little things get in the way of special moments like these throughout the day. When I give the boys their bath, I know that for twenty minutes or more, my attention will be theirs.
- I love their little bodies. My boys are definitely their cutest in their chubby birthday suits. Enough said.
- I love seeing my boys explore new things. James loves to kick and push his feet against the baby bath. When he kicks, the water splashes on his face, he laughs, and then does it again. Thatcher likes to show James how real kicking is done and does a little kicking of his own. He also keeps busy practicing his bubble-blowing skills, and playing with bath toys and bubbles. The bath seems like a whole new world to discover every time we get in.
- I love drying them off in their soft towels (this has become quite a feat with all the rolls covering chunky James) and I love massaging lotion on my boys.
- There is nothing better than the smell of clean, lotioned babies and happy babies in their pjs.
Bath time=my favorite time to be a mom. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or like I have been neglecting my boys, we go upstairs for some Thatcher, James, and mom time in the bath. I instantly feel calmer and like I am a good mom, despite my recent guilty naggings. Whatever works!
UPDATE: I wrote this entry in anticipation of bath time that happened shortly after breakfast. This particular bath time left me feeling anything but calmer. James decided he was dying of starvation halfway through so I quickly cleaned him up, dried him off, put on a diaper and began nursing him while sitting on the tile floor in the bathroom. Meanwhile, Thatcher had climbed into the baby tub which he often does. After a minute, I noticed the water getting murky. Sure enough, Thatcher had pooped. I put James down (much to his distress), cleaned up Thatcher, cleaned and disinfected both bathtubs and all the bath toys, then finished feeding James. We all survived, but I find it ironic that the most disastrous bath experience to date happened just an hour after I expressed my love for bathing my boys. Typical.
- My boys love it! I wish I could keep my little 4 month old James in there for an hour because I think he would get a kick out of it. The moment either of my boys hit the water, happiness results. When Thatcher hears the word bath, he bolts upstairs in anticipation.
- I am helping them with a physical need. My toddler has become quite independent lately. Sure, he still wears diapers and relies on me to dress him and get food out for meals, but I enjoy doing things for him. I am desperately holding on (and will continue to do so, hopefully not to his detriment) to being his mom and doing mom-like things for him.
- I am completely focused on my boys. Not only is it not safe to take an eye off of my two kiddos under two, but bath time is our time. The three of us are completely focused on each other with no distractions (except the bath toys). I let too many little things get in the way of special moments like these throughout the day. When I give the boys their bath, I know that for twenty minutes or more, my attention will be theirs.
- I love their little bodies. My boys are definitely their cutest in their chubby birthday suits. Enough said.
- I love seeing my boys explore new things. James loves to kick and push his feet against the baby bath. When he kicks, the water splashes on his face, he laughs, and then does it again. Thatcher likes to show James how real kicking is done and does a little kicking of his own. He also keeps busy practicing his bubble-blowing skills, and playing with bath toys and bubbles. The bath seems like a whole new world to discover every time we get in.
- I love drying them off in their soft towels (this has become quite a feat with all the rolls covering chunky James) and I love massaging lotion on my boys.
- There is nothing better than the smell of clean, lotioned babies and happy babies in their pjs.
Bath time=my favorite time to be a mom. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or like I have been neglecting my boys, we go upstairs for some Thatcher, James, and mom time in the bath. I instantly feel calmer and like I am a good mom, despite my recent guilty naggings. Whatever works!
UPDATE: I wrote this entry in anticipation of bath time that happened shortly after breakfast. This particular bath time left me feeling anything but calmer. James decided he was dying of starvation halfway through so I quickly cleaned him up, dried him off, put on a diaper and began nursing him while sitting on the tile floor in the bathroom. Meanwhile, Thatcher had climbed into the baby tub which he often does. After a minute, I noticed the water getting murky. Sure enough, Thatcher had pooped. I put James down (much to his distress), cleaned up Thatcher, cleaned and disinfected both bathtubs and all the bath toys, then finished feeding James. We all survived, but I find it ironic that the most disastrous bath experience to date happened just an hour after I expressed my love for bathing my boys. Typical.
Monday, April 26, 2010
uh-oh
uh-oh...Uh Oh....UH-OH!! This is what we woke up to yesterday morning at 6:00am.
We have been blessed with an inordinate number of toys. Some of them purchased by doting grandparents, most of them hand-me-downs from my little brother and sister. We have more toys than we should considering our small living space, but we are very grateful we have never had to spend money in that way. I have never felt a need to buy toys and have practiced restraint when I have seen something at the store I think would be fun. However, in the past week we have bought two toys to add to the already massive collection in our home...Mater and Lightning McQueen. A month ago while in Utah, my little boy, Thatcher, watched Disney's Cars for the first time with his cousins. It was the first real movie he had ever seen and was completely mesmerized. The next day, his grandma got him a little Mater car and it didn't leave his hand from that point on. Mater slept with him, ate with him, played with him. Mater came with us to church, to the gym day care, ran errands with us, and played with us outside....which is how we lost dear Mater.
Last week while playing outside, Thatcher dropped Mater down a pipe sticking out of the ground. That whole day he stayed close to the pipe and stuck his hand down it thinking he could get Mater out somehow. It was so sweet that I went against my resolve to not by toys and went to Target to dish out the $3.50 to purchase a new one. Mater was back...and so was the obsession. Then on Saturday, we added fuel to the fire that really didn't need any more encouragement. We got Thatcher Lightning McQueen. Because things are tight right now, we jump at any opportunity to get free anything. When Kohls mailed us a $10.00 gift card with no strings attached, we decided that would be our Saturday activity. We left Kohls with a car and a ball for my Thatcher's second birthday, but the car couldn't wait. Once Thatcher saw his beloved Lightning McQueen... there was no going back. Since then both Lightning and Mater have been his constant companions.
Lightning fell out of the crib Sunday morning and that is what led to the early morning wake up call of uh-oh, repeated many times with increasing volume and intensity. I love seeing Thatcher get excited about things. I never thought I would be the mom that would want to spoil my kid crazy, but every time I see something from the movie Cars I want nothing more than to buy it because I know how happy it will make my little boy. Thank goodness we have a srict budget or my house would probably look like a Disney story right now.
I love kids and the unique personalities they each come with. My baby is showing his unique personality right now as he is alternately sucking on my arm and then screaming at full volume.
We have been blessed with an inordinate number of toys. Some of them purchased by doting grandparents, most of them hand-me-downs from my little brother and sister. We have more toys than we should considering our small living space, but we are very grateful we have never had to spend money in that way. I have never felt a need to buy toys and have practiced restraint when I have seen something at the store I think would be fun. However, in the past week we have bought two toys to add to the already massive collection in our home...Mater and Lightning McQueen. A month ago while in Utah, my little boy, Thatcher, watched Disney's Cars for the first time with his cousins. It was the first real movie he had ever seen and was completely mesmerized. The next day, his grandma got him a little Mater car and it didn't leave his hand from that point on. Mater slept with him, ate with him, played with him. Mater came with us to church, to the gym day care, ran errands with us, and played with us outside....which is how we lost dear Mater.
Last week while playing outside, Thatcher dropped Mater down a pipe sticking out of the ground. That whole day he stayed close to the pipe and stuck his hand down it thinking he could get Mater out somehow. It was so sweet that I went against my resolve to not by toys and went to Target to dish out the $3.50 to purchase a new one. Mater was back...and so was the obsession. Then on Saturday, we added fuel to the fire that really didn't need any more encouragement. We got Thatcher Lightning McQueen. Because things are tight right now, we jump at any opportunity to get free anything. When Kohls mailed us a $10.00 gift card with no strings attached, we decided that would be our Saturday activity. We left Kohls with a car and a ball for my Thatcher's second birthday, but the car couldn't wait. Once Thatcher saw his beloved Lightning McQueen... there was no going back. Since then both Lightning and Mater have been his constant companions.
Lightning fell out of the crib Sunday morning and that is what led to the early morning wake up call of uh-oh, repeated many times with increasing volume and intensity. I love seeing Thatcher get excited about things. I never thought I would be the mom that would want to spoil my kid crazy, but every time I see something from the movie Cars I want nothing more than to buy it because I know how happy it will make my little boy. Thank goodness we have a srict budget or my house would probably look like a Disney story right now.
I love kids and the unique personalities they each come with. My baby is showing his unique personality right now as he is alternately sucking on my arm and then screaming at full volume.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
A reason to write
Blogging. I have a lot of mixed feelings about the world of blogs. I love reading blogs as a means of keeping in contact with my friends who live all over the country. I love seeing pictures of their kids and adventures as we experience the joys of growing up and creating families. I love finding blogs that make me laugh and blogs that inspire me to create something or cook something I wouldn't have dared otherwise. I like having a blog of my own. I love receiving comments and it helps me keep a little record of day to day events because my once daily journal writing habits have dwindled into once-a-month journal entries at best. So yes...I do like blogs.
However, I think blogging has its own share of evils. The times I have felt the worst about myself in the last couple years (and I know I am not alone in this sentiment) is when I have spent time looking at other people's blogs and comparing my life to theirs. I have found myself comparing my home, my level of craftiness, my creativity, my photography skills, my body, my husband, my thriftiness, my ability to cook, and my spirituality with people I know and oftentimes people I don't know. I like doing a lot of things. I am kind of ok at a number of things, but being great at any one thing has eluded me my entire life. I have always wanted to be truly great at something, but often realized not too far into that quest that greatness requires a lot of passion and a lot of work. I have never found anything I am truly passionate, ready-to-commit-myself-100%-to-the-cause-passionate about. I acknowledge and fully accept responsibility for my decision to be merely mediocre at a few things, and I am happy with my decision...90% of the time. It is when looking at others' blogs that I feel my decision was a poor one. I feel a yearning and more than that, an obligation, to be great at something...if that were the case I could have a blog about my said 'passion' and that would be my 'thing'. But...I don't have a thing, unless that thing is being a mom.
I love being a mom. It is the first thing I feel truly great at (and I know I am really not that great at it, I just really like it) and the only thing in my life I can associate with the word passion.
My whole life I had a plan. I wanted to go to BYU, I wanted to serve a mission, I wanted to travel to Europe, I wanted to go to graduate school, I wanted to be an EFY counselor. The goal at the end of my list was to get married in the temple. There were goals that were made later that I subconsciously felt would add more to my list of accomplishments. I wanted to dance on a BYU ballroom dance team, I wanted to teach French at the MTC, and I wanted to run a marathon. All of these plans were great and helped me feel good about myself but the end-all goal was to get married. I had no plan after that happened. I knew I would have kids, but I think the idea of staying home with kids really scared me and so I preferred to not go there in my mind. I focused on the present and the near future and tackled each one of my goals one by one. Then I got married. Then I found out I was pregnant a few months after getting married and I got nervous. I had no plan. I had tacked off almost everything on my life plan and I was only 25. Now what was I supposed to do? Have a baby at 26 and just do that for forever? During my pregnancy, my life still had purpose. I was working on my graduate degree and teaching French. I felt important and secretly dreaded the day that I wouldn't feel important anymore. I couldn't fathom that being home all day with a baby could give me the same sense of accomplishment as being a student and a teacher.
Needless to say. I was shocked and very wrong. From the first moment I held my baby boy in my arms I knew that my life had just started even though up until that point I felt I was at the tail end of my life's ambitions. Every day after my baby's birth, life got better, brighter, more meaningful, and happier. I never knew a little person could bring so much joy. I never knew I could love someone as much as I loved my baby. And what is crazy is that I love him so much more today than I did that first time I held him in my arms almost two years ago. And what is even crazier is that when baby #2 came along a few months ago, my heart grew even more. I can't reconcile how my capacity to love continues to increase when I don't think it is possible. I love my two boys in a way that words can't describe. I stand in awe of my toddler who is kind and sensitive and brilliant and the happiest person I know. I watch my baby with delight as he smiles and laughs and interacts with the world. He is an angel and the perfect blessing to our growing family.
Being a mom is now my 'thing;. That helps me when I start to feel that I fall short because I am not a mom AND a crafty/cooking/fitness/thrifty/decorating/photography blogger. I am just a mom. I am a mom who likes to do a number of different things on the side (way on the side), but really I am just a mom. And I like that I am just a mom. That is why I am starting this blog. It is about me...my life as a mom and my life's journey starting now.
My husband thinks that most blogs are ridiculous and that they help silly women justify silly hobbies. Maybe that is all this blog is for me too...a way to justify myself and help me to feel better about my life...but so be it, right? I want to write...every day. I want to write not just about the funny things my kids do, but about me...the things I like to do, the things that occupy my thoughts throughout the day (in addition mom stuff), and my journey to finding happiness and confidence that isn't dependent on outside factors. I hope you enjoy the ride!
However, I think blogging has its own share of evils. The times I have felt the worst about myself in the last couple years (and I know I am not alone in this sentiment) is when I have spent time looking at other people's blogs and comparing my life to theirs. I have found myself comparing my home, my level of craftiness, my creativity, my photography skills, my body, my husband, my thriftiness, my ability to cook, and my spirituality with people I know and oftentimes people I don't know. I like doing a lot of things. I am kind of ok at a number of things, but being great at any one thing has eluded me my entire life. I have always wanted to be truly great at something, but often realized not too far into that quest that greatness requires a lot of passion and a lot of work. I have never found anything I am truly passionate, ready-to-commit-myself-100%-to-the-cause-passionate about. I acknowledge and fully accept responsibility for my decision to be merely mediocre at a few things, and I am happy with my decision...90% of the time. It is when looking at others' blogs that I feel my decision was a poor one. I feel a yearning and more than that, an obligation, to be great at something...if that were the case I could have a blog about my said 'passion' and that would be my 'thing'. But...I don't have a thing, unless that thing is being a mom.
I love being a mom. It is the first thing I feel truly great at (and I know I am really not that great at it, I just really like it) and the only thing in my life I can associate with the word passion.
My whole life I had a plan. I wanted to go to BYU, I wanted to serve a mission, I wanted to travel to Europe, I wanted to go to graduate school, I wanted to be an EFY counselor. The goal at the end of my list was to get married in the temple. There were goals that were made later that I subconsciously felt would add more to my list of accomplishments. I wanted to dance on a BYU ballroom dance team, I wanted to teach French at the MTC, and I wanted to run a marathon. All of these plans were great and helped me feel good about myself but the end-all goal was to get married. I had no plan after that happened. I knew I would have kids, but I think the idea of staying home with kids really scared me and so I preferred to not go there in my mind. I focused on the present and the near future and tackled each one of my goals one by one. Then I got married. Then I found out I was pregnant a few months after getting married and I got nervous. I had no plan. I had tacked off almost everything on my life plan and I was only 25. Now what was I supposed to do? Have a baby at 26 and just do that for forever? During my pregnancy, my life still had purpose. I was working on my graduate degree and teaching French. I felt important and secretly dreaded the day that I wouldn't feel important anymore. I couldn't fathom that being home all day with a baby could give me the same sense of accomplishment as being a student and a teacher.
Needless to say. I was shocked and very wrong. From the first moment I held my baby boy in my arms I knew that my life had just started even though up until that point I felt I was at the tail end of my life's ambitions. Every day after my baby's birth, life got better, brighter, more meaningful, and happier. I never knew a little person could bring so much joy. I never knew I could love someone as much as I loved my baby. And what is crazy is that I love him so much more today than I did that first time I held him in my arms almost two years ago. And what is even crazier is that when baby #2 came along a few months ago, my heart grew even more. I can't reconcile how my capacity to love continues to increase when I don't think it is possible. I love my two boys in a way that words can't describe. I stand in awe of my toddler who is kind and sensitive and brilliant and the happiest person I know. I watch my baby with delight as he smiles and laughs and interacts with the world. He is an angel and the perfect blessing to our growing family.
Being a mom is now my 'thing;. That helps me when I start to feel that I fall short because I am not a mom AND a crafty/cooking/fitness/thrifty/decorating/photography blogger. I am just a mom. I am a mom who likes to do a number of different things on the side (way on the side), but really I am just a mom. And I like that I am just a mom. That is why I am starting this blog. It is about me...my life as a mom and my life's journey starting now.
My husband thinks that most blogs are ridiculous and that they help silly women justify silly hobbies. Maybe that is all this blog is for me too...a way to justify myself and help me to feel better about my life...but so be it, right? I want to write...every day. I want to write not just about the funny things my kids do, but about me...the things I like to do, the things that occupy my thoughts throughout the day (in addition mom stuff), and my journey to finding happiness and confidence that isn't dependent on outside factors. I hope you enjoy the ride!
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